Staying in the lane of and as a coach is integrity

I don’t usually do this, but last week I off-boarded a client after 3 coaching sessions.

She was newly appointed to set up a branch for her company, leading a team of 8 experienced professionals in their respective crafts. Her first leadership role. And so she came to me for leadership coaching.

But as our conversations unfolded, it became clear her challenges ran much deeper than leadership goals. She wasn't looking for growth - she was hung up for survival tactics to navigate office politics that didn’t set her up for success.

By session 3, her real struggles emerged: deep shame about her past, difficulty maintaining personal relationships, and childhood hurt inflicted by the ‘love’ of mum. She spoke about feeling fundamentally unworthy of even being a human.

That's when I knew: mentor-coaching was not what she needed.

This is where my principle matters. As a mentor-coach, I do not cross into psychotherapy. It’s a different lane, a different expertise, and one that deserves respect.

So I suggested she seek psychotherapy and referred her to trusted therapists and paused our coaching engagement – with her permission.

I still check in as a cheer leader rooting for her, but not as her mentor-coach - until she’s really ready for leadership work.

This boundary isn’t just about professionalism. For many - especially for ADHDers and those navigating unique neurodivergent journeys - it’s about safety. Coaching is powerful, but it is not therapy. Pretending otherwise does a disservice to both.

If you're wondering which path is right for you:
🔦 Coaching helps you bridge the gap between where you are and where you wanna go - building confidence and competence, on the basis that you are whole.
🪄 Therapy helps you process and heal from past pain that may be holding you back.
Sometimes we need one, sometimes the other. The key is being honest about what you're truly seeking.

As for me, I am committed to:
👉 Walking alongside my clients in the trenches of leadership and personal growth.
👉 Being their comrade and confidant inside and outside our coaching partnership.
👉 And when needed, stepping aside - so they can get the right kind of support at the right time.

Because staying in my lane isn’t a limitation. It’s integrity.